A Survivor

Where have you protested?

Kids Helping Kids (Pathway Family Centers) located in Milford, Ohio

News coverage of one protest can be viewed at the following: http://www.cincinnatibeacon.com/index.php/magaddiction/comments/survivors_protest_kids_helping_kids/

This protest was also covered by www.isaccorp.org, an organization whose mission is to expose abuse, civil rights violations, and fraud perpetuated through privately-owned facilities for juveniles. The direct link can be found here: http://www.isaccorp.org/announcements.asp

What was your personal reason for this protest?

I am a survivor and ex-staff member of Kids helping Kids when it was located in Hebron, KY in 1989 – 1991. I suffered abuse at the hands of staff members there when I was a client, along with sexual abuse from an ‘oldcomer’ that went unreported by the director, Penny Walker; even though I had reported it to her. (Note: An oldcomer is a teen, a veteran, who is in charge of another; he is responsible for his “newcomer”, someone who has just arrived at KHK.)

I saw further abuses towards the children when I was on staff there and did not want to be a part of it, so I quit.

Were you able to educate anyone about the facility and its mode of operation?

This nice compassionate lady pulled to the KHK driveway to speak with me; she wanted to know what I was protesting because she had seen “Teen Oppression” on my sign. I simply told her that KHK uses an abusive Straight Inc. treatment modality, and that the other name for KHK is Pathway Family Centers because they own them. I referred her to all of the websites found on the flyer. She was extremely interested and had actually heard of the abuses of Straight Inc. before now; I told her a little of my story. (Note: I asked what treatment modality was in use, the response was “For one they use the method of belt-looping newcomers still to and from the car; KHK also still currently uses the “Host Home” method, a host home is an unlicensed foster home of other people that are participating in the program; KHK continues to use group therapy sessions which hold no real therapeutic merit or validity; also another hallmark is the fact that the new clients are prohibited from talking with their parents privately and must be monitored by another client from a higher phase.)

Another lady pulling out of the program driveway flagged me down said “Hey, what are you doing here?” I told her, “I am protesting the cult called KHK that is down the very driveway that you just pulled out of.” She said, “They’re called Pathway now, they’ve changed.” I asked her, “Do you work for them?” She replied, “No, I am a program parent, and they’ve changed, they’re Pathway now.” I then asked her, “Is Penny Walker still executive director there?” Now, I asked the same question in rapid succession (five or six times) because she would not answer. I then told her, “Since you won’t answer that question that tells me that they have not changed.” I proceeded to tell her a little about myself as a survivor under Penny Walkers tenure. She claimed that this place was better than drugs and it was saving her child’s life. I gave her a flyer*, and also informed her that if she is not going to care for her child than I will and that is why I was there.

In the afternoon, people started pulling over and asking for information and flyers, so we obliged (our protest was now up to eight participants) and shared information with them. The people who stopped were eager to learn more.

*Information referenced on our flier: WWW.THESTRAIGHTS.COM, WWW.ISACCORP.ORG, WWW.WEBDIVA.ORG, WWW.MELRIDDILE.ORG, WWW.MELSEMBLER.COM, WWW.FORNITS.COM, WWW.RICKROSS.COM; and Google search the following - DFAF, Miller Newton and STRAIGHT, Inc.

You stated, “I am protesting the cult called KHK…” Why do you believe KHK (Pathways) is a cult?

It has all of the Hallmarks of a cult. The leaders are put up on pedestals by the program, making them models for how they want each client to emulate and aspire to. This is very dangerous because every client who enters the program is an individual.  The program is attempting to use a cookie-cutter recipe for all clients. Cookie-cutter recipes do not work for a group of individuals with individual problems. This practice has been disproved many times over the years.

Another hallmark is that Kids Helping Kids (Pathway Family Centers) does not let clients have any normal contact with the outside world. For example: Let’s say “Johnny” client makes a new friend at school on third phase, another client that attends school is expected to report that “Johnny” made a friend outside of the program. This leads to “Johnny” being singled out in a group therapy session by a staff-member (or several at a time) and being confronted by not only the staff-member(s) but also by other clients of the program. This type of interaction usually ends with “Johnny” being punished in some way by staff, for having made said friend outside of the program.  On the other hand, if the other client who attended school with “Johnny” did not tell on him, then the same kind of scenario could be in store for that client as well, if found out. This type of system serves as a constant mental restraint technique.

You stated that “KHK uses an abusive Straight Inc. treatment modality…” Can you define this modality in short for those who may not be familiar with it?

Yes, but it is hard keep short.  As of 2005/2006 from confirmed sources, they are still using the ‘belt-looping’ method of constant restraint, even under the new owner of Pathway Family Centers; as well as ‘leg-locking’, as confirmed by a currently participating, recent graduate, by the name of Amy.  ‘Leg locking’ is a method to stop newcomers (new clients) from leaving the program via the ‘host home’ car.  It involves having an old-comer (a client further along in the program) sit side by side with a newer client in the car and put his/her leg over the leg of the newcomer, hooking his/her foot behind the new clients ankle. It is used to keep the new client (or newcomer) from leaving the car at any given time of their free will. Sometimes it involves two old-comers sitting on either side of the newcomer in the same fashion on either side of the newcomer.

KHK (Pathway) also still currently uses the ‘Host Home’ method. These ‘host homes’ are not only unlicensed but they also are a lock down location for program participants. Lock down means that all program participants staying the night at any given ‘host home’ are required to sleep in the same room, with the bedroom door locked from the outside with an alarm on the door. At the ‘host home’, the clients that are further along in the program are completely in charge of the newer client, which has, and can lead to abuse. A major hallmark indicative of the (former) Straight Inc. treatment modality is the fact that new clients are prohibited from talking with their parents privately, or without being monitored by another STRAIGHT client from a higher phase. KHK (Pathway) continues to utilize this method to this day.

Another example of the (former) STRAIGHT Inc. treatment modality that KHK (Pathway) continues to use is ‘group therapy sessions’. These ‘group therapy sessions’ consist of newer clients sitting in chairs for about 10 ½  hours a day, along with clients that are further along in the program who are expected to control the newcomers throughout the day.

I did appear on film for WCPO Channel 9 incognito to talk about deprogramming and the brainwashing and the cult aspects of the program. That was on November 13th, 2005. I appear as the “Former KHK Graduate”.

Here: http://wcpo.scripps.com/wcpo/localshows/iteam/92a2f60.html

On You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OfCXLdOAwk

In your opinion, do you feel that KHK has changed in any other way besides their name?

No, I do not. I feel that the KHK (Pathway) way has always been to change the name or name(s) of procedures and/or rules call them something different, and then actually keep the activities the same without really changing a thing. I have noticed this occurrence especially when they are under any kind of public scrutiny.

A good example of this is when I was on my phases as a client and the news crews would come in to “interview” clients, or to do and expose on KHK. Penny Walker would instruct us to act differently than we would normally in front of the reporter and crew. We weren’t allowed to ‘motivate’ in front of them, instead we would raise our hands. We were not allowed to talk with the reporter without a staff member present. The staff hand picked children that were allowed to speak with the media, not allowing anyone who opposed the program to speak with them, of course, because the program was using this as publicity to get new clients for more business, more business means more money in the way of funding and in clientele increase.

I previously asked about your personal reason for this protest, would you expound beyond what is described previously?

Witnessing the program modality from a ‘staff in training’ perspective served to wake me up from the brainwashing I had endured, enough to get myself away from the program. I witnessed an executive staff-member tell a rape victim client that all “All men were like that, and that they were all the same, and that they would always be that way.”

I did confront that staff-member and told her that is not okay to say that to any abuse victim. I told her it was unethical. I was still a bit mentally/emotionally paralyzed from my experiences at the program, though so I quit and just left the program. I was only a staff-member for my six month follow-up, they had asked me to become junior staff but I declined.

Brainwashing can be an extremely strange experience and recovering from it can be even stranger. It has taken me years to try and deprogram myself, I feel like I will be trying to fully recover from the experience until I am long gone from this earth.

I witnessed children being restrained pinned down by other clients and staff; staff laughing while restraining a client on the ground and barely able to breathe. A five point restraint was used frequently as part of the program, they would say “It’s part of the program, when a client gets difficult” I witnessed children, including myself, in time-out rooms filled with semen, urine, and blood for hours at a time for simply not wanting to participate or talk in group therapy sessions. Most of these things I witnessed when I was a client, some when I was staff.

Were staff members ever reported to proper authorities or parents for abusive behavior?

Not to my knowledge other than by me.

Were any staff members ever reprimanded for abusive behavior?

Not to my knowledge other than by me.

Is there anything you’d be willing to share with potential readers about your experience there?

I was assaulted by another client, while incarcerated at Kids helping Kids. I reported it to staff after the other client had graduated because I did not feel comfortable while the client was still there, and still had any power over me.  I was terrified.

Under Penny Walker’s direction, the staff members forced me to talk about the incident in front of both the guys’ side and the girls’ side, with the threat that if I did not, I would not graduate the program.  I was ridiculed, not believed by other clients and staff, and made to feel unworthy of having emotions from the assault. They did not call the proper authorities or file a police report or anything.

I have additional questions about your experience in Kids Helping Kids that I’d like you to explain for those who are unfamiliar with the terminology used. You stated, “Penny Walker would instruct us to act differently than we would normally in front of the reporter and crew.  We weren’t allowed to ‘motivate’ in front of them, instead we would raise our hands.” Can you tell us what it means to “motivate”?

To Motivate is when program clients are required by staff and program rules to flap their arms up and down in a fast motion in order to get called on to talk or relate to other clients in groups sessions. It also is used to gain the respect and trust of the other group members as well as the staff, as a way to move up in the program. If you do not get ‘motivated’ you will not advance to the next level. If you are on a higher level and do not get ‘motivated’ in this way, you will be stood up in ‘group’ by staff and questioned about not being honest, scrutinized about your thinking and motives not only by the staff, but by the whole group and then set back to a lower phase of the program, and often all the way back to first phase, day one. It is called being “started over”.

You have mentioned to me in our many discussions about this topic, that you have arthritis as a result of this practice of ‘motivating’, are there any other lasting physical problems that you are still suffering from?

Yes, I developed arthritis as a young adult in my elbows, as well as my wrists as a direct result of ‘motivating’ when I was a client of Kids Helping Kids. I also have had neck and back problems for years from ‘motivating’ as well; the sheer strain of ‘motivating’ so hard to impress staff and other clients, thrusting my whole body to ‘motivate’ as hard as I could, contributed. The staff at KHK made it like a symbol of status to see who could ‘motivate’ the hardest and the longest and would at times force us to have ‘motivating’ contests.

Very early on in our discussions, you mentioned Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder; do you currently suffer any effects as a result of your time in KHK?

Yes, I have suffered from devastating effects as a result from my time in KHK. I have Post traumatic Stress disorder and also Panic disorder. The very organization of their treatment modality is abusive in and of itself in the fact that it causes a child to not self identify anymore (meaning the child loses their self identity within the confines of “the program”). This happened to me because I was put in there right at the stage of development when I was supposed to be finding out who I was and developing my self identity.

The KHK treatment modality does not give the child any room to be ones self because the program requires the child to conform to the programs every whim and abusively strict program rules, even at the foster home, with no relief. The child is threatened to conform by the program in extremely abusive ways, such as being threatened with homelessness, death, insanity, or jail. This particular tactic scared the life out of me, as it did with most others; it is a very harmful tactic because it induces panic and forces one to conform to ideals against their will, under threat to self and personal safety. This type of environment is what causes things like Panic Disorder.

For people unfamiliar with what Panic Disorder is, the symptoms are as follows: Trouble breathing, chest pains – including tightening of the chest, sweating profusely, dizziness, a sense of feeling not in reality, extreme fear, fight or flight response impaired, fear of crowded places, tingling sensations in random body parts. The effects of Panic Disorder, especially before the person has a name for what is happening to him/her, can be extremely frightening, simply devastating them socially. Untreated Panic Disorder can lead to Agoraphobia, which is the fear of leaving ones home because the person afflicted with Panic Disorder starts associating the panic with every place they go, and therefore eventually concludes that it is just best to stay home out of fear. Obviously this type of panic reaction can have devastating effects on ones life such as job loss, social isolation, extreme stress, relationship troubles etc…

Now to address my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I would say it is very similar to Panic Disorder as far as the fear, but it differs in the fact that with PTSD I have awful flashbacks like I am actually re-living the traumas all over again. I’ve had to work very hard to fight those flashbacks and fight to stay in real time since leaving Kids Helping Kids.

Being physically restrained against your will and being forced into lying about your past traumatizes you, especially when you are still a developing child, as I was at the time. Witnessing other children being hurt, restrained, laughed at, ridiculed and scrutinized on a daily basis traumatizes you as well. It further traumatizes you when staff tell you to look forward, away from the incident, and all you can hear is crying and screams for help from behind you, knowing the whole time you can do nothing because you will be the one crying and screaming next if you try to intervene.

Then there is the guilt that I and others associate with not being able to do a thing to help another child. I live with that guilt everyday, even though I know that there was nothing I could have done. I still wish it had never happened to anyone at all. It created a self loathing in me for a long time, and I suspect in others as well.

Suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has permanently altered my perception of certain things to a degree where it has cost me relationships, jobs and friends. Although I am stable now, I still suffer from a lot of trust issues as well as residuals. My symptoms are fewer now than say, ten years ago, but periodically they flare up. I fight them with courage because I am determined not to ever let the program or those demons win.

The program may have stolen two years of my life, and my self identity for a time, but I took back what was, and is mine inherently, through hard psychotherapy work, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy and a lot of support from family members and friends to recover.

Is there anything good that you were able to take away from your experience in Kids Helping Kids?

No, it was the worst experience of my life.

Did your parents struggle financially in order for you to attend KHK?

Yes, at that time the program cost them $20,000 USD. They bought a house 5 minutes from KHK, uprooted our whole lives. They also incurred further expenses by fostering program kids in our home (as required by the program) on things such as food and water, electric, laundry.

How was your relationship with your immediate family affected by your experiences in KHK?

The program lied to me, telling me if I would confess what drugs I had done with my brother, and they interviewed him and if he was honest and said the same, then they would let me see him. I told them, and he was honest with them, and they didn’t let me see my brother for a year and a half. It hurt our relationship immensely. We grew apart and we were best friends before that. We didn’t even know each other anymore.

The program stressed my relationship between me and my mother to where we did not talk for awhile. I didn’t feel comfortable letting her know that she had made a mistake by putting me in there for a long time because I knew in my heart that she did not know what had gone on behind closed doors. I waited to talk with her about it when I had decided the appropriate time, place and action to take with her about it.
My father and I had never had a good relationship and the program only made it worse. My father was an alcoholic and abusive towards my brother and I before the program, and the strain and pressure of the program just made our relationship worse. We still do not talk to this day. In fact we had an abusive altercation since I have been an adult that landed him in jail and a restraining order in my hand.

How do your parents feel about what has happened to you as a direct result of your time in KHK?

My mother, after years of disagreements, hang up phone calls, and lots of talking hashing things out, me explaining what I witnessed along with things that had happened to me in there, started realizing a little bit of what had terrorized me.  Through lengthy discussions with her, she further started to understand and see how the place had affected me in a negative way in different areas within my life. She also now knows and understands why and how I was brainwashed and also admits that they had her fooled and brainwashed for awhile, as well. She supports and remains interested with my protest efforts against KHK. She supports me speaking out and educating the public about Kids Helping Kids.

My father, however, the last time we did speak, blamed my mother for that place even though he went along with putting me in there, as well.

Are there any other relationships that have been affected by your experience?

I have chosen to be the loving caring parent to two wonderful children; as I had planned on being when I decided I wanted to be a mom at age 6. I chose to raise my children a bit differently, mainly because there were certain things about how I was raised that needed to change. I do not sweep things under the rug with my children or over shelter them. I also am a big advocate of, and encourage their dreams and right to freedom of artistic expression, as well as their freedom of speech. That has always been my attitude towards life in general, but it has definitely been magnified as a direct result of the process of trying to heal from my time at the program.

I was assaulted by a boss and she had trapped me in her office, blocking the door so I could not leave.  I had a flashback of being locked in the time out room at KHK.  I froze and could not accurately defend myself in all of the ways that I should have at the time, because I panicked inside and froze up.

It takes years to undo brainwashing, especially if it happens to you in childhood like it did to me.  While I was still stepping down and unreeling from the brainwashing I had several romantic relationships, separately but in between the reels.  Three of those people were from the same program and I worked parts of “my program” on all three of them, and they worked theirs on me as well.  By this I mean playing serious mind games just like in the program, but in a different playing field because we were out of the program and trying to re-adjust to reality. Mind games with romantic partners don’t work in the real world if you desire to obtain levels of true intimacy with the one you love.

Adjusting to regular life after surviving the program is a big ordeal, and tends to leave you feeling relieved to be out, but also very lonely and isolated, with a sense of abandonment.  For me and many others, recovering from the program and attempting to do damage control after being brainwashed is a full time job every day for a period of many years. Any romantic relationship I had immediately following my time at KHK failed miserably because I still needed so much healing to take place within myself, and so did those I was involved with.

It is a common occurrence amongst Kids Helping Kids and behavior modification school survivors to re-learn how to successfully interact with others again because the abuse of the program steals spirits inside children. The abuses calculated with my recovery and healing process from the program, have definitely affected my relations with people in general and caused me to fight an uphill battle with those issues for the rest of my life little by little every day.